Great piece! Well written and hysterical. You certainly have insight into your nature. I do have have house guests every so often, but like you have the one bathroom situation. Other than that, it’s fine. If they find my place too messy or don’t like my cats, they are free to leave. It hasn’t happened yet.
BTW, you should look at the publication “Jane Austen’s Wastebasket.” Your humor reminds me of the pieces I read there. Take care and keep writing