Stop Believing the Lies You Tell Yourself
We are better than we give ourselves credit for.
This past December, I had the pleasure of meeting Meredith Atwood during the launch of her new book, The Year of No Nonsense.
Amazon aptly describes it as: “a practical guide to acknowledging and getting rid of the nonsense and bs in your life.”
It’s a guide to learning how to believe in yourself.
I’m about halfway through, and a lot of it has hit home for me.
So often we make what others say about us our truth. Other kids and bullies contribute a lot, but sometimes even the people who love us inflict pain with their words. Though they are unintended, they are like a slap in the face.
People make judgments and are only too happy to share them. And after we’ve listened to their words for a while, we begin to make them our truth and live them. We agree and, in a sense, are saying, “Yes, you know me better than I know myself.”
We let others write our autobiographies.
And that’s where the nonsense begins, the self-loathing manifests and we begin to sabotage our lives, our happiness. Sometimes it’s through dangerous coping mechanisms like drugs and alcohol.
Other times it’s merely by living far below our potential.
We believe and tell ourselves we are nothing, nothing matters, and that’s what we’ll achieve.
Nothing.
We believe our lies, and we live them.
Sticks and Stones and Names
We know the saying, “sticks and stones may break our bones, but names will never hurt you “
Perhaps not physically, but they do harm us emotionally.
Meredith was the fat girl with a pretty face, “fatty fatty.”
I was Cousin It with my skinny body, long red hair, and glasses. I was painfully shy and felt like I didn’t want to be here.
I didn’t want to die. I just wanted to be erased, have the earth open up, and swallow me.
But that did change. Through writing it down and reading it, I just knew I’d had enough. I knew they were wrong.
I wasn’t ugly, stupid, a geek, and a weirdo.
What lies are you believing? About yourself? About life?
Maybe you can’t have it all, but you can certainly have a lot more than you do now.
The Art of Coping /Finding the Gap
Meredith turned to alcohol. I took comfort in anger and fighting back. Finally breaking the silence and using my voice, and my pen, in protest.
The trouble was I believed everyone was a bully and against me. A compliment was sarcasm to which I reacted with a snarl. And constructive criticism was just criticism, and I wasn’t having any.
I had the attitude of a junkyard dog. That dog is calmer now but still has a past.
I kept writing and finally was able to see the gap. The gap between who I was and who I wanted to be, the gap between what I had and what I wanted. I knew that I wasn’t meant to live my life being miserable.
That’s not why we’re here.
What talents have you abandoned for the sake of making a living?
Is there a hobby you’d like to start but have a fear of failure, not being enough?
Imagine your perfect life, career, and compare it to the one you’re living. That’s your gap.
Your gap is your destiny
If you can even imagine being more than you are, then it’s possible. Your ideas are your dreams, and the universe is putting them in front of you for a reason. It’s your potential, and that’s your truth.
The universe doesn’t lie.
If you have the courage to listen, then the voice that tells lies of unworthiness begins to fade, and the voice of destiny and truth becomes louder. You give it volume by listening.
Ask yourself what you want. Then ask yourself why you don’t have it.
If a friend came to you with an idea of how to change his/her/their life, I’m willing to bet you’d encourage them. Maybe you’d help them make a plan. Be your own best friend.
Don’t listen to the lies and the pessimism.
Listen to the inner voice that sings your praises.
You can have so much more than you have now. Go for it.
Don’t keep your dreams waiting any longer.
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