Welcome to Boston: Drive Defensively Or die.

Fair warnings for those with no Masshole experience.

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Photo by David Clode on Unsplash
  • Routes 95 and 128 are interchangeable
  • Storrow Drive is also MA 28. Oh, and no trucks!
  • Commonwealth Ave is Route 30.

Traffic Signs and Signaling Are for Sissies

A yellow light means hit the gas. Why would you slow down when you can beat the light? It will save you a minute or two. Just make sure your butt isn’t hanging back in the middle of an intersection causing gridlock unless you are into offering yourself as a human sacrifice.

Feel Free to Change Direction at Any Time

Going the wrong way? Make a U-turn, where ever, whenever. If you’re entering a tunnel or exit, just put the car in reverse.


The manual on this states that you must yield, such a harsh word, right-of-way to another vehicle that has come to a full stop before you did or a vehicle to your right that has stopped at the same time.


In some states, they call these “roundabouts.” They are more common in Massachusetts than in other parts of the country. Of course! Only Massachusetts would create a Merry-Go-Round for cars.

Parking and Speeding Tickets

Just pay, don’t argue. You’ll get away with killing someone before you’ll get out of paying a ticket. It’s like death and taxes and this is Taxachusetts, the Pay State.


Let them go. Drive slowly. Ever heard of Jaywalking? It originated in Boston, sort of it means “a pedestrian who crosses a street without regard for traffic regulations.”

Winter Parking

If you need to park on the street, get used to parking in a snowbank, or leave your car at home.

Written by

Marilyn is a writer, yogi, and spiritual medium. Her favorite people are animals, especially ones that meow. She loves the ocean and hates one-use plastic.

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